It took years for 58-year-old Julie Porter to come to terms with the loss of her daughter. But she’s discovered that #walk1000miles allows her to live her best life – which is exactly what Lucia would have wanted
“I was given my first pair of boots on my 50th birthday. My son and I walked a short distance from the house through a tiny gap in a wall which led into the most beautiful glen. I couldn't get my head around the fact that I’d driven past that gap in the wall for ten years and never knew it was there. I liken it to the wardrobe in Narnia. Everything one side was familiar but, as soon as I stepped through and into the woodland with the winter sun dancing through the trees, it was just magical.
Julie lost daughter Lucia at 14.
Several years later my dad had a bad fall which led to a bleed on his brain, and ultimately severe brain damage. He survived 12 months but anyone with experience of an injury of this kind will know that it's a living death. I think I cried for about three months and, just when the agonising pain started to subside, my 14-year-old daughter, Lucia, was killed in a car crash. Looking back it was a very black time for me. I couldn't even comfort my other kids, such was my grief and I don't know to this day how I pulled through.
Lucia left a massive hole in our lives. For months I found myself putting out a meal for her, and still remember the agony when I realised what I'd done and emptied the food into the bin. Every mother has a natural instinct to care and protect her child and that doesn't leave you. The fact that you can't is the hardest thing.
I joined #walk1000miles in January. When I started walking, I found it hard going. But with perseverance, it started to become easier. My mindset was slowly changing as I realised I’d been blessed and honoured to know Lucia, to feel her love, and I knew she’d want me to live my life. That spurred me on.
The happiest walking memory was doing that last step of the first 1000 miles. I completed it at a place called The Switchback, which is where Lucia closed her eyes. When I made that step I’d made peace with myself. I knew she’d be so proud of me.
My fitness level is now off the scale. I've lost over three stone and my mind is healthy and positive. It sounds dramatic but this challenge has changed my life. I've healed myself and come to terms with my loss.
There is a future after losing a child. It may be impossible to see at times but everyone has the strength within them to come through it. Live your best life because you’re doing it for someone else too now.”
Before and after Julie’s walking journey.
